Patrick Patterson Facts

So it's been all about Jodie Meeks lately, and rightfully so, but I can't help but give some love today to Big Pat.

Patman.

The one the fans have voted "Bruise", as in "Rhythm and Bruise"-- the democratically selected nickname freshly applied to Meeks and Patterson, as organized by Mark Story in the LH-L.

I think this team goes nowhere in March without Big Pat. Gotta have his double-double, sure as the sun comes up in the morning. He brings that toughness. That quiet, confident determination. The sheer strength of will in the midst of the low-key demeanor. You know he's made of titanium under there. Well, maybe not his ankle (God how I pray his ankles and knees and everything else holds up)-- but definitely his heart. Titanium, I say.

So my first Patrick Patterson fact is that his heart is made of titanium.

And with apologies to Chuck Norris, I figured I would go ahead and list a few more Patrick Patterson facts for your enlightenment:

• Patrick Patterson can lead a horse to water and make him drink.
• Patrick Patterson can watch an entire episode of 60 Minutes in 14 seconds.
• When whoopa$$ gets mad, it opens a can of Patrick Patterson.
• Patrick Patterson played offensive line in high school. The entire offensive line.
• Patrick Patterson can get blackjack with just one card.
  
• There are no such things as tornados. Patrick Patterson just hates trailer parks.
• According to the laws of physics, nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. However, light goes the speed of Patrick Patterson.
• Why did Patrick Patterson cross the road? No one has ever dared to ask him.
• If Patrick Patterson wanted your opinion, he would beat it into you.
• You should never bring a knife to a gun fight, and you should never bring a gun to a Patrick Patterson fight.
• The reason the universe is expanding is that it's trying to get away from Patrick Patterson.
• Patrick Patterson beats rock, paper, and scissors.