The Mystery Technical

Much has been written (and speculated) regarding the rather unfortunate technical foul that was assessed to Coach Gillispie in the second half on Sunday. It may have been largely overlooked or lost in the shuffle had UK completed its valiant comeback effort, but alas, as we all know, that was not the case. Columnists and fans have rightly pointed out that the "T" seemed to turn the momentum towards Louisville, given the fact that it started the Cards on a 12-0 run, right after UK had spent no small effort to finally take a one point lead at 43-42.

Funny thing is, if you really consider it, there really is no "good time" to get a technical. Now that's not to say that many a coach hasn't occasionally taken a calculated approach, and intentionally pushed a ref just beyond the threshold in an effort to inspire his team. Heck, I don't even necessarily disagree with the tactic-- we've all seen it before. Coach rips refs, takes one for team, team responds with big rally. Tommy Braden used to pull this stuff all the time.

What I mean is, given the fact that the penalty is 2 foul shots and loss of possession, well...there really is no good time for that. You would never purposefully draw up a play that you know for a fact would lead to such a result, as it were. If a player makes a boneheaded decision that leads to a couple of foul shots for his opponent and loss of the ball, the end result on paper is clearly a negative. There's no arguing it.

As of this posting, Gillispie has not expounded on what he actually said to draw the technical. I suppose it is his prerogative should he choose not to explain his words or actions in that case. And in a 40-minute game, you can always select turning points, key plays and such, but it really is never fair to isolate one particular play or decision to be singled out for excessive scrutiny....there are simply too many other plays and decisions that must be taken into account over the entire contest.

Now, I went back over that particular portion of the game using my DVR, and it is obvious that Coach G is shouting something and gesturing with his hands, perhaps to indicate that he thought a foul should have been called on Mike Porter's drive to the basket. I suspect there was some profanity involved. But again, Gillispie isn't talking, and since you will almost never get a referee to fess up, we may never know what exactly was said.

But that doesn't stop folks from speculating, and I couldn't resist taking a stab at some possibilities for what Coach G was shouting at that particular moment to draw the Mystery Technical. Herewith, I share a few possibilities:

• You @#$%&! You've got chocolate in my peanut butter!
• Blow the whistle already, you Clay Aiken fan.
• Listen, pal. Whoever told you vertical stripes are slimming...they lied.
• YAHTZEE!
  
• Foul! That's a foul! Tom Cruise could even see that with his eye patch on.
• Jeez! Oh, wait....let me guess... you're related to Steve Kragthorpe.
• Come on ref, that smack was louder than Thunder Over Louisville.
• You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth!
  
• Hey buddy, Don Rutledge called. He wants his whistle back.
• Ha! Finally got the lead! You owe me a drink.
  
• Pardon me, my dear chap. But I believe-- just perhaps-- you may have missed one, Sir.