An Exclusive Interview With Chris Mullin's Bangs

Regular readers, you know the drill...

Wildcat Whisperer: Thanks for sitting down with us.
Chris Mullin's Bangs: My pleasure, Whis! It's been a long time since I've gotten any exposure.

WW: Well, that's a shame, because we figure you've got lots of great stories to tell.
CMB: Oh, I do. I most certainly do. Back in my day, you remember Chris had St. John's way up in the polls. We were an absolute contender, I tell ya....Dickie V couldn't get enough.... I'm talking around '84-85 here. We used to have some bona fide battles with Georgetown, BC, Syracuse. The Big East was awesome! You know, before they let teams like Louisville in.

WW: Zing! Nice one, bangs.... But tell us a little more about Chris. Some people still think he was overrated. A very poor man's Larry Bird. Is that fair?
CMB: Totally unfair, I must say. Chris was a great player. Dead-eye doesn't even begin to describe his shooting. All kinds of range and better off the dribble than most folks remember. Excellent passer... and Chris had a great NBA career, he was not just a college All-American. Made tons of money in the league.

WW: And he was a Dream Teamer, right?
CMB: That's right. Dream Team, baby. The most hellified assemblage of basketball talent ever. Michael was there, of course, along with his sidekick Scottie. Larry. Charles.... the best of the best. And Chris was a part of it. Barcelona, '92.

WW: But you missed out, I guess.
CMB: Yeah, that's the unfortunate part. Chris had gone flat-top by then, and he's never looked back.

WW: Such a shame.

CMB: Well, it happens, you know. I've got no regrets. Most people don't keep their college haircut throughout their entire adult life, I suppose. Times change.

WW: Yet some things remain the same....I'm sure you saw Kentucky is on top again, and defeated the Johnnies, er, Redmen last night.

CMB: That's "Red Storm" to you, pal.

WW: Oh. Sor...

CMB: ...no it's okay, I'm just messing with you! I don't go in for all that political correctness myself anyway. And yeah, I saw the game. Of course.

WW: And what did you think?

CMB: Well, first let me send a shout-out to Coach Lavin and wish him a full and speedy recovery, just like the ESPN crew and the UK student section. Nice gesture on their part. And I think that from what I saw, Big Blue has a helluva squad this year.

WW: Any particular standouts?
CMB: Davis, of course. If Cal had played him the full 40, he would have gotten that triple-double, I'm sure of it. And while we're talking about Davis, that kid could use some bangs himself. You know, to cover up the uni-brow.

WW: Well, I don't think Mr. Davis has the type of hair that grows....
CMB: Careful now! Political correctness, remember! (chuckles)

WW: (Also chuckling)...okay, okay....so what did you think of Miller's dunk off the lob?
CMB: Yowza! That was a humdinger! You take a bad pass and turn it into a highlight?! Very nice. I can tell you, Chris never threw one down like that. Ever. Not on his best day.

WW: Anybody remind you of Mr. Mullin out there?
CMB: Not really. Lamb can shoot it from distance like Chris did, but everybody forgets that Chris was a lefty. Made him that much tougher to handle at times. Crafty, that guy was.

WW: Any other Kentucky observations?
CMB: Not really. Pretty thorough domination, with still plenty of room to improve for your team. Nice win. But if you happen to run into Travis Ford's bangs sometime, please tell 'em I said hello.

WW: You got it. Thanks again for your time.
CMB: And good luck against UNC!