Competitions In Which Cornell is Likely to Defeat UK

• CHESS: this one immediately came to mind. Probably a cliche, but the game of chess is of course strictly cerebral, and requires no athletic ability whatsoever. However, I would personally envision Patrick Patterson as a super smooth bishop, moving diagonally in space, and John Wall would make an awesome attacking knight. Bruce Pearl? Definitely a queen. Hey-o!

• JEOPARDY: I bet those Ivy Leaguers could really give the Cats a run for their money on this popular syndicated game show. Alex Trebek: "Oooh, sorry DeMarcus, but you forgot to phrase your answer in the form of a question. Darnell, you control the board."

• WORLD OF WARCRAFT: I just can't see anybody on the Kentucky team really being into this kind of "alternate world" stuff. Sure, maybe some of them might play Call of Duty 4 or Metal Gear Solid for kicks, but let's face it, if you are a UK basketball player, you're like that Dos Equis guy...you live vicariously through yourself.
  

• MONOPOLY: Possibly the most classic board game ever, I figure the Cornell players break this time-killer out on those long bus trips to Brown and Princeton in lieu of playing spades like all the cool people.
  

• WOMEN'S HOOPS: Uh, no. Scratch that. The Kentucky ladies have been kicking tail all season long and have now advanced themselves to the Sweet 16 of the women's bracket. (Congratulations.) The lady Cornellians, meanwhile, were 7-20 on the year.

• ROWING: Just seems like something in which all those northeast schools would truly excel. In fact, their website shows that Cornell has both heavyweight AND lightweight rowing teams, so there you go. (Apparently, no middleweights in the sport of rowing. Hmmm.) But I'd honestly pay some good money to watch Daniel Orton trying to fit into one of those skinny little boats. Wouldn't you?

• SUDOKU: Edge would once again have to go to the Big Red here. And you can guarantee that Cal would be complaining that our guys picked up all their bad habits in the summer AAU sudoku leagues, and they think they "puzzle" ice cream. But Cal would also be chasing that 5-star junior from Brooklyn who's been flashing some mad logic skills and recently narrowed down his list to four, with Syracuse as the front-runner.
  

• TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Probably one of those games where the script would be flipped so that Cornell would land a top seed, and UK would be UK garnering a #12, coming from the lightly-regarded SEC. (It's a football conference, for crying out loud. As we're constantly reminded.)
  

• SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT: Self-explanatory.
  

• RUBIK'S CUBE: This is one game where the Cats' propensity for letting up on the gas could really come back and haunt them. I mean, you get those first couple of sides done and think you can coast, and then BAM! Cornell's got it solved and you're knocked out of the Sweet 16. Bummer.
  

• STEEPLECHASE: You'd think Kentucky would have the advantage in the heart of equine country, but the fact is, both freshman members of UK's starting backcourt have a documented and near-crippling fear of horses. In fact, Eric Bledsoe was actually once bitten by a crazed gelding at the Alabama state fair. True story.

• TWISTER: I don't know....something just tells me those Cornell guys are really, really flexible.