An Exclusive Interview With John Wall's Shooting Sleeve

You know exactly where to come when you need a hard-hitting, ground-breaking, investigative interview with a notable inanimate object connected with UK basketball. And this time, we've got something special...

Wildcat Whisperer: Thanks for joining us, John Wall's Shooting Sleeve.
John Wall's Shooting Sleeve: No problem, thanks for having me.

WW: So, what should I call you, just.... Sleeve?
JWSS: Yeah, sure. Some people call me Double-S, or Sleevey, but yeah Sleeve is cool.

WW: Please tell us a little about yourself. What's your background?
JWSS: Well, I'm a Nike product, of course, so I'm from Oregon...what? What's so funny?

WW: (chuckling, resisting Mitch Barnhart joke) Oh, nothing...go on.....Oregon?
JWSS: Yeah, well, not really from Oregon, but I guess you could say I was designed there. My earliest memories are actually from a textile factory across the Pacific, quite a long way from Oregon, if you now what I mean.

WW: I see... and you are made from what, exactly?
JWSS: Well, most of my siblings are 84% DRI-Fit polyester and 16% spandex, but since I'm John Wall's shooting sleeve, I'm actually a proprietary blend of 100% awesome.

WW: I'll say.
JWSS: Yeah, it's good to be me.

WW: Can you shed a little light on what it is that you do for John, exactly?
JWSS: Well, not a whole lot, to be honest. I squeeze his magic right arm a little bit. Provide some padding. Bring a little more blue and white into the mix, I suppose. But John really does all of the work. I'm just a little extra support is all.

WW: Uh-huh. Well, a lot of readers want to know...are you concealing anything under there? Some scars, perhaps? A tattoo?
JWSS: Oh man, John would probably kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but yeah, there's a tat on there, just a little slogan on his right forearm.

WW: No way! What does it say?
JWSS: It says, "Duke Sucks". (Pause.) Just kidding, man. Had you going there for a second, didn't I?

WW: Ha ha, verrry funny. But I guess a sense of humor is valuable in your line of work?
JWSS: Yeah, I mean imagine if it had to spell out Krzyzewski...(pause)....anyway..... if you want to talk valuable, sleeves like me are actually available for under 20 bucks online. They've been flying off the shelves, too.

WW: Do you figure that's because of their association with the so-called Basketball Jesus?
JWSS: Well, you know, lots of guys are wearing them now. Bledsoe has one too, Patrick sometimes, and of course plenty of NBA guys, so it's not just J-Dub.

WW: Yeah, but your man Wall is white-hot these days....SI cover...player of the year candidate....
JWSS: Oh sure, but it's all deserved, is it not? You saw the Miami game, right? Season opener in Rupp, true freshman nails the buzzer-beater? And how many players have the skills and the cojones...can I say cojones?
WW: You just did.
JWSS: ...the cojones to pull off that defensive stop at Vanderbilt. The kid's big time. Cal knows it. Even LeBron knows it. (More of a headband guy, than a sleeve guy, but still. Gotta respect LeBron.)

WW: Yeah, I suppose we could talk all day about the phenom. What's been your favorite game, or highlight so far?
JWSS: Well, that reverse lob dunk against Hartford was pretty sweet. And then the left-handed throwdown on IU was all kinds of nasty, too (although the left arm is bare, if I can just point that out) but really, the best thing about the kid is that I always feel like the NEXT game could be even better. He could still get that triple-double, that 30-point game, that jaw-dropping, did-he-really-just-do-that kind of highlight on any particular night. Fact is, I don't think John has peaked as a college player yet, and I don't think the team has peaked yet either. Feelin' me?

WW: (suppressing fit of pure, unadulterated joy) Yeah, Sleeve, I'm feelin' you. I believe you're absolutely right. We're all looking forward to March in the Big Blue Nation, that's for sure. So is there anything else you'd like to say before we let you go?
JWSS: Yeah, there is. And I'm glad to be able to get this out in the open. You know The Dance? The one everybody's doing now? Totally my idea.

WW: Seriously?
JWSS: Yeah man, think about it. You put that arm up there and make the fist and start twisting back and forth...what's that focus on? What's the first thing you're gonna notice about a guy doing that?

WW: His sleeve?
JWSS: Exactly!

WW: Well, thanks again for stopping by.
JWSS: You got it, man. Peace.

photo credit: Walter Cornett