An Open Letter to John Calipari

Dear Coach Cal,

Welcome to Big Blue Nation! We're all very excited to have you aboard. I can't tell you how long it's been since we've won a national championship. Oh, who am I kidding...of course I can. 1998. Looks like you've got some work to do!

But first things first, pull up a chair. Whoa, not that one! That was Bill Keightley's chair. Pick another one, please. You probably know about Mr. Wildcat already, but if not... well, let's just say there's going to be a bit of a learning curve here, but I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle.

Listen, Coach. One thing we want to get out of the way right up front: we have high expectations. Very high. Astronomically high. Kind of like what Oscar Wilde once said about his preference for finer things, "I have the simplest taste. I'm always satisfied with the best."

Yeah, we want banners hanging in Rupp. And we don't hang banners for just making the NCAA tournament, or even making the Sweet 16 like your most recent Memphis team. That's not a slam on the job you did; there's no shame in losing to that tough Mizzou squad this season, but I'm just sayin'. High expectations. Banners.

Also: don't be a jerk. You might have heard a little bit about the guy who you're replacing. Pretty good coach himself. Lots of potential. But you probably got the highlights from your new boss, Mitch Barnhart. The previous coach... well, let's just say he wasn't exactly a people person. In fact, you might even say he was the polar opposite of a people person. (Maybe he was a dog person?) But I hear you're great on the lecture circuit and love selling your program, so we'll just leave it at that. Play nice with others and things will be fine, really. No sense beating a dead horse.

And speaking of horses...man, can you recruit 'em or what?! Wow, Coach...two of the top four according to Rivals.com and the inside track on John Wall. Impressive. Just keep in mind, any student-athlete you want to bring to Kentucky will have to meet some standards. No, this isn't Princeton or anything, but we do have our minimums and we do expect our guys to be good citizens. Above all, we expect you to recruit hard but according to the rules (more on that later.)

And if I may offer just one piece of advice on the recruiting, it would really be nice if you could keep some productive Kentucky kids on the roster. They don't all have to be super-duperstars, but surely you can find a few contributors. See, the trick is in determining which 17 year old is going to turn into the next Scott Padgett and which is going to turn into the next Todd Tackett. (Sorry Todd, it was either going to be you or Brandon Stockton. I just needed an example here. No offense.)

In the meantime, you do have a nice young man by the name of Darius Miller on the roster. Kid's a player. Really grew a lot as a freshman. And Big Blue Nation adores him. A big reason why is because he is in fact a Kentuckian. Excuse me, a former Mr. Basketball in the Commonwealth. So yeah, we dig Darius, and other players like him. That's just the way we are. So please, we're begging you, don't let the Darius Millers or the Chris Loftons of the world slip away. Especially to Tennessee. Jeez!

By the way, great move in calling up Joe B. Hall, et al on Tuesday. That's some real thoughtfulness on your part. Honors the tradition, pays some respect to those who have gone before you, and demonstrates a willingness to listen and interact that will surely serve you well in Lexington. Loved it! We're all about the tradition, Coach. We jammed a 60 year old gym for an NIT game.

We also halfway filled our next opponent's gym, on one day's notice, for a game 400 miles away. But I digress....

If you'll allow me just one quick comment on strategy: push the ball, Coach. Run when you can. Not mindlessly, of course. Not just for running's sake. But take advantage when it's there. You'll have superior athletes (right? you will have superior athletes)-- so don't keep them on a chain. Let 'em go. I like what I've heard about your offensive philosophy, so again, I don't expect any problems here. Just be advised: we much prefer it when our teams are allowed to run.

Finally, and this is really simple... PLEASE, I'm begging you...keep it clean. I would imagine UK's compliance people have been going through your laundry like nobody's business over the last 72 hours. We know about the Camby thing. And we know you can't be with your players all the time and force them to make good decisions. But seriously, do your best to win honorably. You must. No man ever cheats that first doesn't cheat himself. Frame a copy of that horrible SI cover (you know the one) and keep it in your office as a reminder if you have to. Never again.

So again, welcome. Looking forward to getting to know you better. Can't wait to hear about how the roster situation will settle out. Do yourself a favor and check out the spring meet at Keeneland. I was always more of a fall man myself, but it's still very nice if you catch a good sunny day. Talk to you later!

Sincerely,
Wildcat Whisperer

P.S. Banners.